This is not one of those obsessive posts that will consist of me proclaiming and doting over how wonderful, magnificent, epic, beautiful, amazing, sweet, terrific, outstanding, smashing, astonishing, and extraordinary Beyonce and Jay-Z’s marriage and new baby are. Also, this will not be one of those posts where I will be bashing Beyonce for “faking a pregnancy” or arguing that her and Jay-Z are affiliated with the Illuminati (a cult) with supporting evidence from a trillion different internet sources that are about as credible as the National Inquirer. This is, however, a post where I will express  how disgusted I am with how society has glorified and idolized these two individuals.

When I heard Beyonce had her baby, I navigated to my Black gossip site of choice to read the article about it because I was curious and casually interested in things like, what she named the baby, what security was implemented, etc. I did not, however, take to Twitter to express my undying love and passion for “Princess Blue”, “Baby Carter”, or cosign with the rumors that the baby’s name has something to do with the Illuminati.  I love Beyonce’s music as much as the next girl who is in her early 20s. But, the world’s obsession with Beyonce, her marriage, Jay-Z, and their baby is nothing short of sickening.

On one side, we have the Beyonce and Jay-Z Enthusiasts. You may have seen them on Facebook and Twitter. These are the people who participated in trending topics where they picked out names for Beyonce’s child like Beyonce was specifically seeking their personal input on what to name her baby. These are the same people who will get heated and defend Beyonce like she put their children through college (or put them through college), is paying their light bill, or any of their bills for that matter. These are the same people calling Beyonce and Jay-Z’s daughter “Princess Blue” or talking about this baby, whom they probably haven’t even seen a picture of, like she is their personal savior.

On the other side, you will find the people who hate Beyonce no matter what she does. These are the people on gossip sites that ranted about Beyonce not slowing down her career to have a child. These are the same people who continued to bash her relentlessly after she finally got pregnant. These are the people who claimed that Beyonce faked her pregnancy. These are the same people who claim to be so tired of Beyonce and call her an attention whore, yet they know her every move including, how many times a day she uses the bathroom, what time she got up this morning, how many stretch marks she has, what kind of weave she wears, etc.

There is a fine line between being curious and fandemonium. There is a fine line between a casual interest and straight up stalker status. There is a fine line between being slightly annoyed when you see a Beyonce commercial because you think she is overexposed and bashing her mercilessly because your own “life” is pathetic and miserable.

Yes, Beyonce is famous, but she simply gave birth! Just in case you didn’t realize it, your mother and grandmother gave birth too. Beyonce and Jay-Z are filthy rich, but they are people just like you and me. Being rich and famous does not make one superhuman or worthy of being glorified and idolized. Just because Beyonce and Jay-Z are rich and famous doesn’t mean it’s okay to say cruel, hurtful, and disgusting things about them based on falsehoods and misinformation. Our society has taken “celebrity” way too far. I just wish people would leave them alone already. No wonder Beyonce and Jay-Z are so serious about security. Some people (their fans included) are just crazy.

Since I didn’t do the standard 2011 reflection blog post, I decided to do a 2011 meme. I am a little late with this considering we are five days into the new year, but let’s carry on any way. I grabbed this from Jenn.nu.

1.What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
I got engaged. Visted New Orleans, New York City, and New England for the first time.

2.Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t even remember what my 2011 New Year’s Resolutions were or I even had any. So I guess we can call this one a “no”.

3.Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

4.Did anyone close to you die?
Thank God, no.

5.What countries did you visit?
None. Unfortunately.

6.What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More discipline and motivation. My last year in undergrad was spent fighting with myself to do work.

7.What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 19, 2011 – the day Chris and me went on our first date.

8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating with honors from college.

9.What was your biggest failure?
Being undecided on a career and/or being undecided about the next step for my career.

10.Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, other than a few colds here and there.

11.What was the best thing you bought?
My Macbook Pro.

12.Whose behavior merited celebration?
My fiance, Chris. He made it through 10 of my periods, 2 exam week breakdowns, and my pageant week meltdown like a champ.

13.Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Someone in my family, but I won’t get specific.

14.Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills.

15.What events did you get really, really, really excited about?
The second pageant I competed in, which I was first runner up.

16.What song will always remind you of 2011?
Beyonce – Best Thing I Never Had

17.Compared to this time last year, are you:
i.happier or sadder? Definitely happier.
ii.thinner or fatter? Maybe like 3-5lbs. fatter? My hips seem a little bigger.
iii.richer or poorer? Richer or about the same.

18.What do you wish you’d done more of?
Let’s keep this rated G.

19.What do you wish you’d done less of?
Looking at the glass half empty and stressing about petty things.

20.How will you be spending Christmas?
Well, I SPENT Christmas with family.

21.Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My best friend, Shoneice or either my mother. That’s a tough one to call.

22.Did you fall in love in 2011?
Sure did. <3

23. How many one-night stands?
Ugh, none. I definitely don’t do those.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Embarrassingly, it was Basketball Wives. What can I say? Cable TV sucks nowadays.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I try not to hate people.

26. What was the best book you read?
I spent most of my time reading excerpts for my English classes rather than entire books, but I’ll say my 4th read of The Coldest Winter Ever was pretty great.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery?
Beyonce’s – 4 album because I originally hated it. I <3 it now.

28. What did you want and get?
A Kindle Fire. Thanks, babe.

29. What did you want and not get?
Nothing.

30. What were your favorite films of this year?

In Time and J. Edgar were pretty good.

31.What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Chris took me to one of my favorite restaurants, P.F. Changs (that was  also where we went on our first date). We also went out for drinks afterward.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having a solid and exciting plan for my life. You may be able to tell that I hate uncertainity.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Chic and fabulous frugality.

34. What kept you sane?

My best friend, Shoneice! She always helps me put things in perspective and let’s me know when I am overreacting.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least?
No one really. But for the sake of keeping with this:

Most: Beyonce because she is/was the most gorgeous pregnant lady I’ve ever seen.

Least: Michele Bachman because always seems to be lying or wrong about something without owning up to it.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The debt ceiling. I’m glad we made it.

37. Whom did you miss?
My grandma. RIP June 8, 2010.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My fiance.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
To live by my own standards and NOT anyone else’s. Everyone has a different opinion anyway, so I can never please everyone, so it doesn’t make any logical sense to even try.

40. Do you have any lost feelings of others.
Huh?

41.Quote a song that sums up your year:
I’ll get back to you on this one.

…just so I can get the Mary Kay Skin care products for myself! I was blessed with pretty low maintenance skin. As long as I keep it hydrated, it stays relatively clear. I just follow a few simple rules, including, keeping harsh body soap as far away from my face as possible. As picky as I am about NEVER using hand soap or bar soap on my face, I am still the girl who will gladly use the $5 facial cleanser from Wal-Mart. I am also the girl who is content with the cheap Pond’s facial moisturizer.  I am the girl who skips the special makeup remover or astringent all together. So the thought of me dropping $55 on a skin care kit is painful to say the least.

But something happened to me one day in late December that lessened the trauma that would usually come along with the thought of buying expensive skin care products. I tried Mary Kay’s TimeWise line. I didn’t just try a sample at a Mary Kay consultant’s “free makeover” party. My sister gave me 3 full-sized products after she had a change of heart about starting her own Mary Kay career. She gave me the Mary Kay Timewise 3-in-1 cleanser, Mary Kay TimeWise Moisturizer, and this eye makeup remover. I didn’t know how I felt about using anti-aging products at 22, but one thing is for sure, my skin felt very different after using this system one time.

My skin is extremely dry during the winter months. I mean, my-face-will-look-gray-if-I-am-not-careful kind of dry skin. The cheaper skincare products are fine for me in the summer, but wintertime is a whole different animal. The Mary Kay products seriously made my skin feel and look smoother right after I used it.  I am seriously considering a Mary Kay career just so I can get my hands on these products without having to dish out a lot of my own money for them! That’s my frugal and business mind at work again.

Don’t get me wrong though. Even though I am very budget conscious, I will buy more expensive products if the quality is worth it. For instance, I have been hooked on MAC Studio Tech foundation since I first used it for a pageant in 2010. It’s about $30 per compact, but I pay for it because it’s worth every penny! I am just an advocate for being budget conscious and not continuously spending an outrageous amount of money on clothes, beauty products, or accessories of any kind. I know to some people $30 foundation isn’t expensive. But to put things in perspective, one of my recent shopping trips at Forever21 resulted in 2 headbands, a shirt, a tank top, and a pair of earrings for $27. So yea, I can do a lot with $30. I am just a believer that you can be fabulous on any budget. Do you use an expensive skin care system? Or do you prefer cheaper products like Clearasil and Clean and Clear?

This is NOT a sponsored post. I, nor, essjaee.com are not affliated with Mary Kay.

Marriage has declined for many reasons– rising levels of education for women, the demise of the shotgun wedding, better contraception, living together has become more acceptable, and divorce has made this generation more skittish. ― Barbara Ray via Psychology Today

Is marriage just a piece of paper now? I certainly don’t think so. I think a lot of people who think argue that marriage is indeed “just a piece of paper” are battling commitment issues, so they try to make marriage seem less important and seem like less of a commitment than it is. If marriage isn’t that big of a deal – why avoid it so much? My best friend, Shoneice, and me had a conversation about marriage a few days ago. Our conversation inspired me to write this entry. Shoneice argues that marriage isn’t all that important and a committed relationship can be just as “official” as a marriage. I don’t agree with her at all.

Marriage is a different level of commitment. It’s one thing for a man to tell me he loves me, will never leave me, and will be faithful. It’s another thing for a man to take vows and sign a marriage license (a legally binding contract).

I watch the show Love and Hip Hop (please don’t judge me), and it was painful to see Chrissy propose to her boyfriend of 7 years, Jim Jones, and then he still not take that next step and agree to marry her. Chrissy’s situation is just like so many other women’s struggles that I have heard about or seen. It’s sad to see women who desperately want to get married, but their boyfriends will not marry them. Some women have to all but lie, connive, and manipulate to get a ring! I have even heard of cases where women have had to give men ultimatums to get them to the altar. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t want to be in a marriage I had to force the other person to enter into.

I asked Chris (my fiance) why he thinks men like Jim Jones are afraid to get married or genuinely don’t want to get married. Chris’ response was: “Half”.  Some people’s fear of marriage kind of made sense to me after Chris said that. It scares some people to have their finances intermingled. It also scares some people to know that if their marriage doesn’t work out, their spouse is probably entitled to half of their money and property. If a relationship doesn’t work out, you can leave and there isn’t much material loss or gain on either end. Marriage changes all of that. That’s just one more reason why marriage is more of a commitment than a long term relationship.

If someone doesn’t want to get married that’s his or her choice. People are certainly entitled to their own opinions and decisions. I don’t think a committed long term relationship is anywhere near the same thing as a marriage. But hey, different strokes for different folks. What do you think?

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are having a fabulous and safe holiday season! My Christmas was great and extra special since it was me and Chris’ first Christmas together. It was great spending time with my family too. My parents have a Christmas Eve party every year, and they are always a lot of fun. We have tons of food including green bean casserole and candy apples, which are my holiday favorites. I hope you have a Happy New Year! How was your Christmas? What are your plans for New Years?

When I am not so painfully exhausted that I fall into a coma deep sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, I think about some of the most random things before I fall asleep. It’s a wonder I get any rest at all. Refrain from judging me because of this list. lol Some of these thoughts include…

• Why do men always send women flowers when they do something wrong?
• Who am I now that I am not a college student anymore?
• I’m freezing, but I will deal with it since I am too lazy to get up and turn off the fan.
• I wonder if me and Chris’ kids will look more like me or more like him?
• I don’t know if I will ever be ready to have children. I couldn’t imagine getting up in the middle of the night to see what’s wrong with a crying baby. That would definitely drive me crazy!
• I have no idea how to take care of a baby anyway. I wonder if they teach you how to hold a baby and how to satisfactorily change a diaper in parenting classes…
• I am ready for Christmas! I guess I should probably finish my Christmas shopping before I start looking forward to it so much..
• Maybe I should watch some YouTube videos on my Kindle before I fall asleep. Nevermind. I am too lazy to get up and get it.
• I should be charging my phone right now. Oh, it’s downstairs. Forget it.
• We found love in a hopeless place. We found love in a hopeless place. Why do I have this stupid song stuck in my head? Ugh. I hate you Rihanna.

Yea, lots of juicy stuff here. I am feeling pretty blogless today as you can see. Maybe I will have something more profound to say tomorrow. Anyway, what are some of the random thoughts you have before you fall asleep or throughout the day?

I am obsessed with all black outfits with a splash of color! All black outfits are perfect for fall and winter. They are ridiculously easy to put together, and anyone can pull them off. I am a firm believer that you shouldn’t have on too many bright colored standout items competing for the spotlight. Pairing your standout item with all black everything else can give it the shine it deserves without overwhelming the world with competing bright colored clothes and accessories. It also helps to have a metallic silver or gold color as an accent for you accessories. Here are a few looks I put together:

A look perfect for daytime. Swap the boots out for black flats if you’re looking for comfort.

All all black outfit with a splash of pink – perfect for a night out.

What do you think of my outfit choices? How do you usually wear your bright colored accessories?

Just because I gave up on the detox doesn’t mean I went back to my regular horrible eating habits. I could have reached for a bowl (or three) of Cap’n Crunch this morning, but instead I opted for an omelet in a bag and half of a grapefruit. It was pretty tasty, and an omelet in a bag is super easy to make.

Omelet in a bag + 1/2 grapefruit = a pretty filling breakfast

Recipe: Simply boil water, then combine eggs, green peppers, onions, cheese, salt, black pepper, and anything else you may want in your omelet in a lunch/sandwich bag. Mix the contents inside the bag. Place the sandwich bag in the boiling water and cook for 15-30 minutes depending on how many eggs you used.

I love this recipe because it’s really easy and it tastes great even though I always omit meat. I don’t eat pork (or beef), so it’s essential that I find breakfast foods that don’t need bacon or sausage to taste “complete”. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a domestic diva by anyone’s standards. So, anything that requires little clean up and has simple directions is a winning recipe in my book. I first learned about the omelet in a bag recipe from one of our healthy eating tutorials at vacation Bible school when I was a kid. This recipe is healthier than other omelet recipes because it doesn’t require any oils or butter. Plus, the vegetables are steamed, so they retain a lot more nutrients than they would if they were fried. Also, Allrecipes.com has other interesting omelet in a bag recipes that are worth checking out.

I added hot sauce because I’m a true Southerner. We put hot sauce on everything!

I was never a Kardashian “fan”, but I used to watch their shows up until a few months ago when they became too boring and pointless. Their “reality shows” just started appearing obviously scripted. I used to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe and Lamar, and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, Kourtney and Kim Take New York, mainly for the fashion. No one can deny that those girls have style, and they definitely look glamorous and put together most of the time.

Considering I was never really a Kardashian fan, I can understand the temptation to sign “Boycott Kim” petitions and blast them on every single gossip site. I can understand the urge to call them attention whores, phony, and desperate. It was painful and ridiculous to watch Kris Jenner suggesting that she change her last name back to Kardashian (her deceased ex-husband’s name) for branding purposes. Check out the video below if you haven’t seen it. Nevermind that she has been married to Bruce Jenner for  two decades and she would be switching from his last name to go back to her ex husband’s name. It was also irritating to see Kim crying and being extra dramatic over some diamond earrings that she could probably easily replace with a phone call. So yes, I agree that the Kardashians seem superficial, whiny, and extremely thirsty for exposure. I get it. But the way people talk about them is just disturbing.

This post was inspired by the Boycott Kim petition and website. Over 250,000 people signed the petition and two major brands have already cut ties with the Kardashians because of it. I must say that the way the Boycott Kim website is put together is really impressive. This “movement” really has the potential to ruin the Kardashians. But I can’t help but wonder how great our society would be if these same 250,000+ Kardashian protestors challenged our government officials in the same way about real issues. It’s amazing how much people care about Kim Kardashian’s failed marriage but couldn’t tell you basic stuff about the American government like who the Secretary of State is and how many supreme court justices there are. It’s very interesting.

If this post interests you, please check out the other posts in the Fat Smash Diet Detox series: Detox Post #1 & Detox Post #2.

We caved. When I say we caved, I don’t just mean we ate a scoop of ice cream and caved. We caved as in we had a whole fatty meal + drinks caved. Day 3 proved to be the worst day of the detox yet. I woke up expecting Day 3 to be easier. That wasn’t the case. I woke up craving real food. I gave Chris my “prepping for failure speech”. By 10:00AM, I had another hunger/detox headache. By noon, my stomach and my head were both hurting, and I felt weak. By 1:00PM, I almost gave up. I preheated the oven to 425 degrees to bake the frozen BBQ chicken wings in Chris’ freezer. At the last second, I decided to stick to the detox. I put the chicken wings back in the freezer instead of in the oven. By 2:00PM, I took a nap because the pain was getting to me. When Chris got back from his office, I did another rendition of my “prepping for failure” speech as well as complaining about how much pain I was in from the detox. He said the magic words, and I felt elated: “Let’s go to Pippa’s.” Pippa’s is a bar/cafe across the street from his house. He ate a steak and cheese hoagie with a Long Island Iced Tea. I had a Turkey Burger and a Shirley Temple. That food gave me life. We finished off the evening with Butterfinger ice cream and rum and coke to celebrate Chris being a finalist for a post doctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania. I even ate some mini Oreos.

Mini Oreos: AKA my Kryptonite.

I could dwell on the fact that I failed at the detox, but I refuse to do that. I held up for nearly 3 days doing my first detox ever. I gave in when I began to feel like I was borderline starving myself and putting myself through unnecessary pain. My self-discipline has increased. I also discovered some interesting things about the way I approach food. Just because I didn’t last the full 9 days on this detox doesn’t mean I didn’t accomplish anything. I plan to do another detox, but I just plan to do one that isn’t as long as the Fat Smash Diet Detox. I know now that this detox is a little ambitious for a very first detox. On to the next one. After the holidays, of course.